mom on a mission

this is my blog, my opnions, my play pen. dont like what you read, move on!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

life turned upside down

Sometimes you just want to hear, “I’m that really SUCKS"
Or even, “I understand why your so stressed"
“That must be hard.”

I don’t necessarily want everything to be fixed, made better. I want arms to wrap around me, pull me close and hold me while I cry tears of confusion and anxiety. I want a hand to pet my hair and to wipe away my tears, smear my not-quite-waterproof mascara and kiss the marks on my face.

Maybe mostly because I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t understand why I feel this a crushing blow, . For me, not understanding something makes my anxiety skyrocket. I hate that feeling of confusion, of not being in control of myself — let alone a situation over which I will not, do not and will not have control. The fact that I am feeling something that i cant fix   makes me angry, with myself as well as the situation at hand. It’s a cycle of messy feelings, confusing thoughts and general angst.
I hate myself in these moments!!! i want to be strong for every one!!! I avoid looking at myself in the mirror — I’m mad — but at myself. For being mad, for not bein able to fix this!!!!!

Friday, August 17, 2012

so called christians

I watched a repeat episode of wife swap.
one wife an athiest the other a christian it was a recipe for disaster ,

THe christian mom and dad, suffocated their children by prayers not allowing them to go to school
or hang out with friends, while the athiest couple exact opposite, kids in school, in a band, out with friends.

The christian mom would not conform to the rules while the athiest mom, went to church even
though she was uncomfortable, read the bible, said grace etc, the christian mom would not go
trick or treating, tried FORCING the family to pray etc. Well to make a long story short,,,i love the athiest mom!!! She gave it all a chance while this closed minded CHRISTIAN woman did not shoGw
that only GOD can judge and judged these people!!! i wanted to puke!

I now have 4 teenagers and 2 little ones. i have NEVER stopped my kids from doing anything that cant harm them. Kids NEED to fail to learn how to pick themselves up and go on. this mother was not allowing her kids to do anything!
I will say that letting my kids breathe, go out with friends, play sports, get involved in school, i have very well rounded kids who i can be proud of. As a christian, watching that episode im embarassed that now people convieve all christians to be judgemental! In the end the athiest children who were in a band opended thier minds and wrote a song about GOD! while the so called christian mother still judged them by saying rock music is of the devil.

What some people have done to thier kids : (

Monday, August 13, 2012

freaking idiot!

This was off an open adoption site, what a freaking joke this woman is, she is the administrator of the site, this poor woman asked a question  .......

Hi, we are adoptive parents planning to adopt a baby girl due next month (9/20). the bmom lives in missouri and has health insurance under her mom’s coverage. we live in ca. By Missouri law, the child of the dependent does not get automatic coverage, so we would have to foot the bill for our baby;s birth and hospital stay. Because we are covered under Kaiser Permanente, and bmom is not giving birth at a KP facility, our insurance will not cover the baby’s expenses. Does anyone have any suggestions or knowledge about this type of situation? We are happy to cover for a well-baby’s normal stay, but if there are any complications, it can be tens or thousands of dollars. Any prior knowledge or suggestions would be greatly appreciated

Hi poster, I think this is a question for your lawyer. But I did want to caution that unless you have already adopted a child, you are NOT adoptive parents. You are hopeful parents or pre-adoptive parents. Also the pregnant mom is NOT a birth mother; she is an expectant mother. She may be planning to place the child and she may go through with it but until those papers are signed, she is that baby’s mother and you are not adoptive parents.
These kinds of semantics are important both because language can be coercive (by calling a woman a birth mom before she’s given birth it’s a way of erasing her valid status as mother) and because it can set hopeful adoptive parents up for a level of entitlement that can harm the future relationship if the adoption goes through.

The woman IS a birthmother!!! she has every intetion on placing her child so she is a perspective birth mother!!!!!!!!! so as this stupid person says,,,shes  "hopeful birthmother" th

Saturday, July 28, 2012


‘I’m Having Their Baby’ Recap: New Heart-Wrenching Series On Adoption

On the new documentary series ‘I’m Having Their Baby,’ we met two women entangled in complicated pregnancy drama. Mary wound up pregnant with another man’s child after having an affair, but still wants to make her marriage work. Claudia got pregnant by a guy who has 6 kids with 4 different baby mommas. Each woman chose adoption for their baby, but will they stick to it?

Placing a child up for adoption is an emotionally difficult task for everyone involved, but even more so when your husband is not the father of your unborn baby. On Oxygen’s new six-part documentary series I’m Having Their Baby, Mary, 25, turned to an ex-boyfriend for emotional support, only to find herself pregnant with his baby — but she doesn’t want to give up her marriage, either.
Mary’s husband Eric became distant and downright mean after a car accident and unnamed illness left her sick and in pain. When Eric confessed to Mary after five years of marriage that he couldn’t continue a relationship with her (and said he didn’t sign up to be married to someone who was sick!), she turned to an ex-boyfriend for emotional support. Emotional support turned into much more when Mary found out she was pregnant with his child!
However, Eric miraculously changed his mind and said he still loved his wife and wanted to make it work. Mary decided to choose her marriage over her unborn baby, and give her child up for adoption so that he or she can grow up with two loving, stable parents. Although she initially likes a couple named Jeremy and Nicole, she changes her mind a few months later (for a variety of reasons that don’t really make sense), and wants to find new parents. With Mary constantly going back and forth, her adoption counselor is concerned that Mary is too confused to really know what she wants.
Spoiler alert: At the end, Mary decides that she wants to keep her baby, David, and her adoption counselor has to break the news to the second couple. In gaining little David, she loses her marriage to Eric, but she would rather take on the world as a single mom than as an unhappy wife. Although I’m glad Mary came to a decision that felt best for her (and ditched her spiteful and condescending husband), I can’t help but feel sorry for the two separate adoptive couples she led on for so long.
We also meet Claudia, who at 20, got pregnant by a guy she was seeing for about a month named Ben. It didn’t take Claudia long to realize Ben was a player, who already had six kids with four different baby mommas! Although she admitted that she was stupid to fall for Ben’s games when they were dating and not to use protection — hindsight is always 20/20 — she knows better now and wants to give her unborn child a better life with two complete and loving parents. Plus, Ben can’t even keep track of the kids he has now, let alone support them.
However, Claudia started dating a guy named Josh a few months into her pregnancy, who despite his seemingly lack of a good job, is convinced he can support Claudia and her child. But Claudia seems to have a good head on her shoulders, and reiterates that she is only 20, and wants to go back to school and land a stable job for her future. Plus, if she and Josh break up — there’s no ring on her finger, after all — she doesn’t want to be a single mother like her friend Precious. She knows adoption is the best choice right now.
As her pregnancy comes to an end, Claudia meets and selects an adoptive couple (who choose to remain off camera), and they name her baby Caleb. After Claudia gives birth to baby Caleb, she lovingly holds him in the delivery room for a while and gets extremely emotional. Watching her and Josh with Caleb in the hospital actually make it seem like they can be a loving, supportive family all together. She cries when going over the adoption papers, and questions whether giving her baby away is still the right choice.
Spoiler alert: Claudia continues with the adoption, and the new parents get to take baby Caleb home. Although she and Josh end up breaking up, Claudia insists it was for the best, and reaffirms her decision that adoption was the best option for her baby. Claudia visits Caleb every month, and could not feel more confident with her decision after seeing Caleb in loving and supportive family. She also enrolled in college for the fall to study business, and is focusing on herself and her future. I am so happy for Claudia and Caleb! They both seem to be on their way to leading happy, successful lives.
Check out the teaser for the entire upcoming season!